You fucking small-dicked idiots are all angry and obsessed with penises

Some hysterical Chicagoan has written an absolutely hilarious blog post that highlights what an angry, terrified, insecure man he really is. Some choice quotes:

firearms in general are stupid, purposeless death traps

[…]

a society awash in cheap, easily purchased handguns is a pretty f***ing stupid idea. Columbine, Virginia Tech, the South Side of Chicago–meh, who cares? Think about how many guys’ penises feel bigger because they’ve fired a gun.

[…]

now not even Democrats can get elected without bowing to the alter of fear-mongering that says a minority will break into your house and rape your family unless the right to own an instrument that serves no other purpose but to end human life is guaranteed to every citizen.

[…]

Frankly, I don’t even know why I’m writing about it. Even perfectly sane, rational friends of mine are in love with the idea of gun ownership for all (small penises likely being a key ingredient). But this atmosphere of hyperventilation about “gun rights” (what a moronic term) now manifests itself around the country in the form of court challenges to some highly reasonable laws

[…]

How this translates into the notion that everyone has the right to an assault rifle and armor-piercing bullets is an exercise in logical jujitsu so asinine, it would take an NRA-endorsed politician to pander an explanation. We as a society have moved past overthrowing governments violently, and if you think otherwise, go find me actual not batsh*t-crazy people who want to overthrow the federal government and think they can do it with their Smith & Wesson.

[…]

But again, I don’t care. Guns have permeated our culture so thoroughly, become trafficked in such heavy volumes and have such an ironclad grip on our political class that it’s not even worth thinking about. Have your guns, have your 30,000 gun-related deaths each year, have your fun.

Oh, and have your obviously insufficient penises.

Given his assertion that we’re all small-dicked, violence-crazed wackos, it sure is an aggressively-written article that seems oddly fixated on penises. It seems to be theme with him. As Joe Huffman says, “The gentleman doth protest too much, methinks.”

Also, I wonder what his gun-owning friends think of his assertion that they’re all poorly-endowed. I sure wouldn’t want to be friends with someone who imagines himself more sexually potent then I because of my choice of hobbies.

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One response to “You fucking small-dicked idiots are all angry and obsessed with penises

  1. I think Joe is too kind in calling him a “gentleman.”

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