Category Archives: Apple swag

SHUT UP CHUCK SCHUMER

You have better things to do then gripe about the iPhone 4. Then again, if it distracts you from trying to delete gun rights, then by all means, continue complaining!

iGun, take 2

Okay, we were all wrong. THIS is what it would look like if Apple designed a gun. And the website is spot-on Apple-style too! Amazing, absolutely amazing.

Hot new gun alert

Every Day, No Days Off has managed to snag a marketing photo of the latest unreleased hot Apple product!

i1911-apple-handgun.jpeg

I believe I can answer some of his questions:

  1. Will it have a user replaceable magazine?
  2. No, but it will hold 200 rounds in it and can be easily replaced at the nearest Apple Store for the low low price of $49.99!

  3. Does it use proprietary .45 caliber ammunition?
  4. No, it uses the latest and greatest hollow-point .45 ACP, but in a proprietary fixed magazine!

  5. Where’s the touch screen?
  6. It doesn’t need one, it talks to you!

  7. Is this a grasp at the liberal hippy market?
  8. No, the market for people who need protection while walking out of Apple Stores!

  9. How many times per month will I have to upgrade the software on it?
  10. Only once a year, but software updates are irreversible, and destroy any unapproved modifications you’ve made to the gun!

  11. Does it require the newest version of that POS iTunes?
  12. Yes, but with it, targeting information and shot timing data can be downloaded to this and other Apple iFirearms!

  13. What kind of fancy apps can I get for it?
  14. Anything at all, as long as it’s approved by Apple — so yes, you will be able to take potshots at Microsoft and Google employees with it!

And there are still more photos floating around, too!